Dictator Slays Millions in Last-Minute Push to Be Time's Man of the Year
Myanmar's brutal ruler Than Shwe is angling for the honor.
From the Onion
2006
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Kansas Outlaws Practice Of Evolution
In response to a Nov. 7 referendum, state lawmakers end the highly controversial process.
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CNN Renews This Week At War For Next Eight Seasons
"A premise like this can go on for a generation," says CNN President Jonathan Klein.
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'C-List Celebrity Killer' Leaves Police Enthusiastically Guessing Who's Next
Following Thursday's gruesome discovery of the remains of former Blossom star Joey Lawrence, law enforcement officials are feverishly speculating on the identity of the killer's next victim.
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Rumsfeld: 'My Half-Assed Job Here Is Done'
Announcing his resignation, Bush's Defense Secretary said that he is satisfied with what he has accomplished.
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GOP Throws All Financial Support Behind One Candidate
The National Republican Congressional Committee allocates its remaining $256 million cash-on-hand to an Arizona incumbent in the hopes of retaining at least one House seat.
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Indonesian Mother Sews Halloween Costumes For 60,000 Children
"I try to put a little extra love in each seam I stitch, or epoxy, or hot-glue, or heat-seal," said factory worker Weninng Panggi.
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Bush Urges Expanded Drilling Of Alaskan Wildlife
The President urged Congress Tuesday to pass an appropriations bill that would enable expanded drilling of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge's animals.
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Flustered Bush Misses Air Force One Flight
The President narrowly missed his Air Force One flight to Boise after arriving just moments after the plane's doors had closed.
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Iranian Science Teachers May Be Enriching Students
A Pentagon report raises worries that Iran has several facilities for the enriching of mass quantities of high-grade students.
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Rumsfeld: Iraqis Now Capable of Conducting War Without US Assistance
The Defense Secretary says escalating violence in Iraq shows the Iraqi population is capable of staying the course without outside military aid.
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New Bill Would Defend Marriage From Sharks
Some Democrats who say they support sharks' rights have been careful not to oppose the bill outright.
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US Dedicates $64 Billion to Undermining Gates Foundation Efforts
Director Of National Intelligence John D. Negroponte gives details.
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Caltech Physicists Successfully Split the Bill
Scientists emerge exhausted but visibly excited Friday from a Pasadena Cheesecake Factory.
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Bush Hushes Nation
He asks citizens "to quiet down for just one minute" so he could have "a chance to think."
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