'Retire Bush' Contest Winner

Last year we launched a contest here and on our website asking readers to suggest what our soon-to-be-ex-president should do in retirement. The contest attracted more than 2,000 entries. Most were satirical with subtexts of anger and contempt. A number of readers called on Bush to atone for what he has done by working in a VA hospital or asking forgiveness in houses of worship. The most popular suggestions revolved around public service in Iraq, jail for war crimes, returning to the oil business, teaching English as a second language and clearing brush. The winner is Kristen Wack. Her prize is an original drawing by Edward Sorel (left). The winning entry:

George W. Bush should host a revised version of the TV reality show The Biggest Loser, on which corporate executives compete weekly for the most colossal management debacle. The winner gets a $200 million severance package and a presidential pardon.
 --Kristen Wack

Runners-up:

George W. Bush has accepted a position as professor of Middle Eastern studies at Liberty University. It will be co-taught by Professor Cheney, who will lecture via a small box placed on Professor Bush's back under his tweed jacket.
 --Kate and Brian Deimling

Putting his many flight suits and jackets to good use, Bush finally fulfills his service commitment to the Texas Air National Guard. Mission Accomplished!
 --William J. Astore

After leaving office, W. will do... nothing! Hasn't he done enough damage already?
 --Michael Williams

After leaving office, W. will become curator of his Presidential Library and Museum, where he wants to explain and exhibit the results of what really transpired deep in the bowels of his administration.
 --Bob Sutherland

W. will be busy assembling a legal dream team to fight extradition to The Hague for war crimes.
 --Al Bennett

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