Herewith, The Nation introduces a new genre: hyperdoggerel.

The AMAZING McBLAINE
Will Suspend his Campaign
From the Apse of the CAPITOL DOME

He will HANG UPSIDE-DOWN
Thus inverting the Frown
Induced by Rasmussens and Gallups

(Though like any Magician
He'll first have his Beautician
Bedizen his face like a Trollop's).

He'll he holding a GRAPH
Of the Market's COLLAPFF
As it zig-a-zags DOWNWARD toward DOOM--

Which by Dint of this FLIPPING
Will shortly be Skipping
Skyward--Hey, Presto!--a BOOM!

Lest this Feat interfere
With his TRICK OF THE YEAR--
DISAPPEARING for Five Months or More

With NEVER A VOTE--
He is fixing to Float
Fifty feet from the Senate FLOOR!

His lovely Assistant,
Though slightly resistant,
Will be SAWED very neatly IN HALF--

Her UPPER part, you know,
Will be sent back to JUNEAU,
And as for the LOWER, don't ask!

Why settle for Youtube?
I'm talking to you, Rube:
BE THERE, for crying out loud!

At the end of Day Three
He'll take as VP
A Brave Volunteer from the Crowd!

If some Media Lib
Tries to peddle the Fib
That it's all a Political STUNT,

Your Wrath please Restrain;
Take a Tip from McBLAINE
And Courteously call her a C**T!

UPDATE:

McBLAINE IS DEBATING!
Imagine the RATINGS
For all of the Networks that carry 'em!

Here's why Interest has Surged:
He'll Debate while SUBMERGED
In a Two-Thousand-Gallon AQUARIUM!

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