deadline poet

By Calvin Trillin

This article appeared in the June 6, 2005 edition of The Nation.

May 19, 2005

at UN Ambassador John Bolton's Attempt to Persuade Members of the Security Council That the Next Country We'd Like to Invade Has Weapons of Mass Destruction

Displaying photos to provide a peek
At how these rogues with wicked plans can sneak
Their dirty bombs--each capable, no doubt,
Of taking Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, out--
To secret spots in mobile weapons-vans,
He said, "We must, right now, disrupt their plans.
These dirty bombs require our deterrence.
On that you have my personal assurance."

A delegate then said, "I can't agree.
This looks like sanitation work to me.
We've previously analyzed that spot.
It's photographs of garbage trucks you've got."

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About Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin is The Nation's "deadline poet." He has been a staff writer for The New Yorker since 1963 and has written the syndicated weekly column "Uncivil Liberties" since 1986. He has authored many, many books, including Tepper's Not Going Out and Deadline Poet: My Life as a Doggerelist. more...
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