Let others oooh and ah at Kennedy's bravery, the Clintons' professionalism, Obama's history-making acceptance speech. But let us not forget what conventions are really about, now that presidential candidates are virtually always determined in advance. Conventions are, as every serious student of politics knows, an excuse for partying. Herewith, then, as a public service, my unvarnished insider's account of a typical night on the town in Denver.

It is 9 p.m., and my goal is to attend the Slate Party -- the one party to which I have been invited -- at the well-known Tattered Sleeve bookstore, only a couple of miles from the Pepsi Center. I have not eaten all day and my plan is to gorge myself on what will undoubtedly be platters of barbecue, pigs-in-a-blanket, shrimp and other free Denver delicacies, washed down with local microbrew, and hobnob with my betters.

I have cleverly hooked up with my buddy Eric , who is always invited to all the best parties, and has rented his own car. I have asked Eric to be my "date" for the Slate party, to which he has not been invited (it must be B-list since it's held in a mere bookstore, well-known or otherwise), confident that he will reciprocate and ferry me around to his endless A-list shindigs,

Small problem. Cars are banned from the perimeter (which seems to extend for miles) of the Pepsi Center (which seems to extend for miles), so we will have to spend the evening on foot. Oh well.

As we near the Tattered Sleeve, Eric puts his ever-present blackberry back in his pocket, and he tells me on what I take to be a note of triumph, that "we" have just been invited to a Creative Coalition dinner in a railroad car. There will be fine dining, political hot-shots, celebrities and movie stars galore. " 'We,' or you?" I ask. He, he admits, but not to worry, he assures me. His friend Robin is in charge of the invitation list. I worry, but maybe, I say to myself, Scarlett Johansson will be there.

We stop by the Tattered Sleeve, which looks empty, but discover that there is a party upstairs. We climb two flight of stairs and indeed there is a party. I skip the hors d'ouerves, saving my appetite for the moveable feast ahead, and because we are running a little behind, after some remarks by Denver's ubiquitous Mayor, we decide to skip the hobnobbing too.

We proceed to walk down two flights of stairs, and traverse however many blocks (I lose count after the first nine, or is it ten?), and there in the distance is a railroad station. We don't see the railroad car, but decide to enter at the far right. It turns out the railroad car is on the far left. We trudge to the far left, my friend Eric doing his best not to leave me behind, and indeed, when we depart the railroad station, there, on top of a small hill, in the near distance, we spot a railroad car. There is only one small problem. Actually it is not so small: A stone wall stands between us and the railroad car. Our choice is to scale the wall, which my solicitous pal Eric asks if I feel up to, or to walk to the end of the wall, the only problem being that we can't see where the wall ends. We decide to scale the wall.

Although unlike my friend Eric I have not had time to avail myself of one of the free limb-limbering massages the Huffington Post has been offering delegates and the press, on a first-come, first served basis, I manage to scale the wall.

We hike up the hill, and happily, Eric's friend Robin is outside. Our worries are over, good old Eric assures me. She will put me on the list. She gives Eric a big hug and a bigger smile. He introduces me and tells Robin how important a journalist I am. She nods enthusiastically, says she is honored to meet me and of course I am more than welcome. But she has some news. The bad news is that the party is over. The good news is that there is another party that HBO and Bill Maher are throwing across town, and if we would like to go, Robin will get us in. Eric asks me what I would like to do even as he gets out his blackberry to check out the timing of two other parties he has been invited to: one by Planned parenthood, the other by Rock the Vote.

Also, knowing my presumption against ever walking when there is a vehicle in sight, Eric thoughtfully arranges for us to climb into a van for VIPs which is headed for the Maher party. This is more like it. And crammed in with us, are two celebrities. The star of Barry Levinson's 1982 movie, Diner, (although I don't recognize him), and the great director Barry Levinson himself (although I don't recognize him, either.)

The van makes its way across town and the good thing about that is because of the congested traffic, we get to do some hobnobbing with Barry Levinson. Eventually, however, we arrive at our destination. We get out, and while I am busy working the cricks out of my van-crammed left leg, Robin goes inside to let them know that we have arrived, and who we are. After only three (or was it four?) minutes, she returns with some new news. It seems the party is over, but the good news is that the taping of Bill Maher's TV show is still going on and if we are interested, she might be able to get us in. After some desultory debate, we decide that since we are already there, we are interested. True to her word after only modest negotiations, Rob in us in. But because the taping is, in fact, still going on, we are instructed not to hobnob.

We silently and diplomatically take some of the some open seats in the rear. Maher is on stage by himself, and making off-color jokes, and after maybe twelve (or was it thirteen?) minutes, the taping is over. We are ushered back onto the street. The good news is that the van hasn't left. There proceeds a five (or was it six?) minute discussion about whether we want to go to the Planned Parenthood party, the Rock the Vote party, or have dinner with Barry Levenson (who it turns out has an early morning appointment, so is unavailable, but he takes Eric's cell phone number ). By this time it is past midnight and we decide that Eric will go on to the Planned Parenthood party, and maybe after that to the Rock the Vote party, and I will go back to the hotel. Eric persuades the driver of the van to drop me off on the way to the Planned Parenthood party. I order a hamburger local microbrew from room service.

It was not that I had lost my faith in A-list parties (although Eric did tell me the next day that I would not have had a good time at Planned Parenthood, which was almost over by the time he arrived). It was simply that I wanted to rest up for Obama's acceptance speech later in the week, after which I knew that the real partying would begin.

Comments (19)

1. Mr. Navasky,

   Thanks for voicing, in the latest issue of The Nation, the thoughts of a massive slice of the American electorate that ranges from frustrated to furious over Obama's almost certainly unwise hard right tack since securing the Democratic nomination on June 3rd.

   Kudos.

   Now if Obama will get the message and spurn his handlers.

   Posted by b_kool_66 at 08/28/2008 @ 7:12pm

2. Yeah, but I'll bet the "Creation Science" Party next week in St. Paul will be killer!

   Posted by Maskdelta at 08/28/2008 @ 7:14pm

3. Yeah, but I'll bet the "Creation Science" Party next week in St. Paul will be killer!

   ~Maskot

   Don't kid yourself, Maskot, there are a good many so-called conservatives who really know how to blow their wads so to speak.

   The Craig bathroom (or a replica at some conservative St. Paul saturnalia) is certain to be a big draw.

   Posted by b_kool_66 at 08/28/2008 @ 7:20pm

4. Posted by b_kool_66 at 08/28/2008 @ 7:20pm

   I'll stop by the Rush Limbaugh/Newt Gingrich Marriage Counseling Seminar first!

   Posted by Maskdelta at 08/28/2008 @ 7:36pm

5. Good call.

   But don't forget your vicodin and oxycontin in case you get a "headache" wink, wink.

   Posted by b_kool_66 at 08/28/2008 @ 7:39pm

6. mr. navasky,

   first, thanks for letting us use your electrons.

   secondly, enjoy denver.

   thirdly, CRUISES?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

   Posted by frosty zoom at 08/28/2008 @ 7:43pm

7. Posted by b_kool_66 at 08/28/2008 @ 7:39pm

   I understand Sean Hannity will be explaining why adultery is morally repugnant and shows a total lack of character (i.e. John Edwards and Bill Clinton)....

   but how it's "okay" as long as it was "thirty years ago and five years after getting out of a POW camp!"

   Which means if Edwards can go into a POW camp between 2009-2013, get out, and then wait until 2038....he can be the candidate of the "Family Values" Party!

   Posted by Maskdelta at 08/28/2008 @ 7:43pm

8. I understand Sean Hannity will be explaining why adultery is morally repugnant and shows a total lack of character (i.e. John Edwards and Bill Clinton)....

   but how it's "okay" as long as it was "thirty years ago and five years after getting out of a POW camp!"

   It's a good, Maskot, but the hallmark of the right wing wind machine is hypocracy.

   In fact, we ought to coin a new term to describe the heights of absurdity that so regularly ejaculate forth from the gaping maws of the likes of Hannity et. al.

   Perhaps The Nation would like to start a naming contest?

   By the way, I noticed your comment the other day issuing a jab for my prior support of Edwards in the wake of his big come down.

   All I can say on Edwards behalf is "what a sad way to fall". And with a bonifide space cadet no less --A recent Newsweek piece by Richard Darman makes that case quite well.

   My defense is a simple one. How can one be faulted for favoring the best pick of the draft when he goes down with a career ending injury?

   Gotta go. Talk to you doodz down the line.

   Posted by b_kool_66 at 08/28/2008 @ 7:57pm

9. Nice job with the letter to Navasky, Cypher.

   I also like the idea about increased coverage of Afghanistan, but our media isn't likely to pick that one up I'm sure --being that they are all complicit and shit.

   It's utterly surreal how so many gullible rubes buy into Afghanistan as the "central front in the global war on terror".

   We could hardly have picked a more auspicious place for the American empire to meet its bitter end.

   And for what exactly?

   It boggles the mind.

   Posted by b_kool_66 at 08/28/2008 @ 9:33pm

10. Wow!

    Posted by b_kool_66 at 08/28/2008 @ 9:44pm

11. Or perhaps, "Whoa.............Dude!"

    Posted by b_kool_66 at 08/28/2008 @ 9:47pm

12. Posted by sergal at 08/28/2008 @ 9:43pm

    I love this kind of stuff. Can't tell if they're comedic geniuses...or really crazy!

    Posted by Maskdelta at 08/28/2008 @ 9:52pm

13. Precisely!

    Posted by b_kool_66 at 08/28/2008 @ 9:55pm

14. If "Sergal" is gonna be at any of these political galas being held at either of the conventions, count me in.

    Posted by b_kool_66 at 08/28/2008 @ 9:59pm

15. Posted by b_kool_66 at 08/28/2008 @ 9:55pm

    BTW, I could have SWORN that Johannson was one of David Ickes' Reptiloids!

    Who knew she was really a Nazi clone?

    Posted by Maskdelta at 08/28/2008 @ 10:00pm

16. Phony Gore: Here he comes again. Well, let's just say comparing anyone to Lincoln isn't just phony, but laughable.

    ---------

    Gore Talks About What Might Not Have Been, Compares Obama to Lincoln August 28, 2008 9:08 PM

    DENVER, Colorado -- Former Vice President Al Gore started his speech tonight by talking about how the world would be different had he ended up in the White House in 2000.

    "Eight years ago, some said there was not much difference between the nominees of the two major parties and it didn't really matter who became president," Gore said. "Our nation was enjoying peace and prosperity. Some assumed we would continue both, no matter the outcome. But here we all are in 2008, and I doubt anyone would argue now that election didn't matter.

    Posted by HelenDAO at 08/28/2008 @ 10:27pm

17. Apparently those clones is very actively shown on your website . This is just a warning, because original person is not happy about those images and video, rumors and etc., in that way it would be really nice if you try slow down that ''actress'' career development on your website, original Scarlett's parents will really appreciated that. Please do that, do not wait until FBI agent give you a call with questions. Please remember that original family did not authorize any activity with stolen biological materials, no matter what form it was created, it all need to be return back to original family control to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.

    Sergei Galabekian

    Posted by frosty zoom at 08/28/2008 @ 10:36pm

18. sergal has been removed!

    what's wrong nation,

    fear of clones?

    Posted by frosty zoom at 08/29/2008 @ 01:28am

19. That's a bit odd.

    What is the policy for post removal I wonder?

    Anyone at The Nation have an answer?

    If "Sergal" is liquidated how about takin' care of "Happy"?

    I'm not a fan of censorship but it would be nice to be able to vote a few bloggers off the island for consistently having nothing of value to contribute.

    Posted by b_kool_66 at 08/29/2008 @ 02:12am