The Perfect President of the DisUnited States of America

The principal purveyors of cultural, economic, political and social policy extending heavy-handed rule over foreign countries--Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Spain, The Netherlands, The DisUnited Kingdom, and their kingpin, The DisUnited States of America--now find themselves challenged as never before, notwithstanding their often turbulent histories. Having lost any perception of authority and/or authenticity, these Concocters of Consent, their consent!, these Rulers of the Truth, their truth!, these Proponents of Judeo-Christian "Democratic" Capitalism, their capitalism!, now have their backs against the wall. Vicious societal agitation against them, oligarchic socialists (olisocists), is rampant throughout the world. Uncertainty is a certainty. Foreboding is the order of the day. It is as if a grand conflict, a universal war (World War III/Universe War I) is looming in the inner selves of people--still again! Is an Armageddon between The Haves and The Have-Nots in the offing? A super clash, to outdo all others, set on its deleterious course centuries ago? Who is going to redeem Western Civilization? Who is going to pull The Old World out of its nosedive? Who is going to call the tune for The New Europe? Who is going to skipper us through our Sea of Hypocrisy?

My guess it will be John Sidney McCain III. No other North American politician is so in sync with his country's animating spirit. His curriculum vitae substantiates my assertion. Born August 29, 1936, of Scots-Irish and English ancestry, McCain III boozed his way through the DisUnited States Naval Academy (1958) as did McCain I and McCain II--both four-star DisUnited States Navy admirals. McCain III graduated almost at the bottom of his class (894/899), thus qualifying himself as a potential Commander-in-Chief of the DisUnited States' armed forces and manager of the world's largest bureaucracy, the Pentagon. During his active duty military career, McCain III crashed many DisUnited States Navy jets, yet not one of the enemy's. Nevertheless, like his antecedents, he bombed to smithereens an untold number of Asian people, including women and children. Quick-tempered McCain III was held prisoner in the Hanoi Hilton, where the erratic hothead dictated the rules to his turnkeys, who stood in awe of his family background and even offered him repatriation terms because he had made anti-North American propaganda confessions. Rank Has Its Privileges. He is a church-goer, naturally, and switched from Episcopalian to Baptist in a vote-getting scheme set to woo the southern DUS's constituency. With a pathology of power stirring him on, he divorced his first wife, disfigured in an accident, and married the heiress to a beer distributing company who bankrolled the political ambitions of this pol with a John McEnroe temperament--he breaks million-dollar Navy jets, not tennis racquets!

It is not my intent to question the DUS's citizens' privilege to select a Presidential Professional Bomber, who talks through his teeth, to represent them all over the world. Fifty percent of the North Americans I know would beat me to a pulp and leave me bleeding to death in the street if I did. The North Americans are a wonderful people--if they aren't bombing you! With his finger on The Button, McCain III, the DUS's first PPB, with a vendetta on his agenda, is sure to bully the DUS's way across the globe. He does it his way! No, I quiz North Americans on their justification for selecting a half-pint semi-psychopath who might turn out to be a bona fide Dr. Strangelove. Have a nice nightmare!

Anthony St. John

Calenzano, Firenze, Italy